


No surface, all feeling

by ssa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-05-12
Updated: 2003-05-12
Packaged: 2017-11-01 07:00:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/353461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My take on what would happen if Clark found out that Lex was investigating him behind his back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No surface, all feeling

## No surface, all feeling

by yellowsummer

[]()

* * *

_No surface, all feeling_ was written for Slod's Mom Challenge. 

*Disclaimers:* I don't profit in any way from my obsession with Smallville. 

*Spoilers:* Visitor 

*Ratings Note:* PG 

*Acknowledgements:* Thanks go out to Lola and SkaterBoy for beta'ing and supporting me. Words can't express how grateful I am for your help. 

_Feedback_ : Pretty please? I live for it. 

The mansion seemed colder and more deserted than usual. The obnoxious silence unnerved Lex to no end. The only sound echoing off the walls was his own typing. Every time he hit the spacebar he was reminded of how noisy it normally was in his office. 

Outside a stormy wind lashed against the heavy windows. The intense vibrations brought unpleasant flashbacks of last summer's tornado to emerge, forcing Lex to peer in the direction of the windows every now and then. 

He wasn't scared, not really. A Luthor was never scared. Still, he couldn't help the uneasiness creeping up inwardly. Memories of his father, bloody and severely hurt, and his own reluctance and hesitation to help him sneaked into his mind. The recollection still caused him to break out in a sweat. Despite all the time that had passed since that almost tragic event, he hadn't managed to overcome the immense guilt and bad conscience he still carried with him. 

It was ironic, really. He knew for sure if it had happened the other way round, if Lex had relied on his father to save him, he probably wouldn't be sitting here right now. 

He shook off the unpleasant emotions and tried to focus on the real problem he had to face now: Clark. 

Days had passed since he had last heard from the boy. Days filled with uncertainty and something akin to fear. Fear that their friendship might have finally come to an end. 

He didn't know if he could really blame Clark for rushing off that night because he had, after all, every reason to be furious and resentful. Lex could have sworn that Clark's eyes had almost blazed up from all the rage. He wouldn't have been surprised if Clark had indeed set the whole house on fire. After all, Lex still couldn't say for sure with whom he was dealing. There was just one thing he knew for a fact: Clark was special. And all Lex ever wanted to do was explore _how_ special he was. 

Naturally he needed multitudes of equipment with which to study Clark. And, of course, he required a room where he could conduct his investigations. 

How was he to know that Clark would find it so soon? 

Ever since their fateful first encounter it had been clear that their friendship wouldn't be easy to uphold. Lex was aware of his reputation and how it influenced people's opinions of him. It was all the more reason for him to believe in this friendship when he realized that Clark genuinly appreciated him and went out of his way to see past the persona that the tabloids had created. Lex wasn't sure whether he had shown his gratefulness the way he should have. Judging from how passionately Clark always defended Lex against his own parents and friends, Lex decided that Clark probably knew how thankful he really was. Despite all the social differences they had found a way to accept each other and a mutual admiration had settled between them. Maybe even more. 

It didn't prevent Lex from questioning Clark and his suspicous saviour complex, though. As Clark wasn't willing to share whatever it was he was hiding, Lex felt the urge to find the answers himself. 

He hadn't forseen the mess his investigations would bring up. And he certainly couldn't have calculated the immense loss he felt now that Clark was obviously avoiding him. Needless to say, he hadn't entered _the room_ ever since that night. Somehow his intense curiosity had been overcome by panic and guilt. 

The only way to fix the situation was to talk to Clark but he hadn't been able to overcome his reluctance yet. He was a Luthor, after all. Luthors did not apologize. They didn't grovel before others and ask for forgiveness. 

He laughed hysterically and decided that his father would probably be terribly satisfied with the way his brainwashing had worked out. Had he really turned into a cold and calculating person like his father? Had he really become that distrustful and heartless? 

Lex felt like the chill inside him was starting to rival the cold outside. 

He shivered slightly and got up from his seat. He wasn't going to let his father control his every action. He wasn't going to give in and take on any more of his father's ways to succeed. There had to be other ways to defeat his father. Ways which didn't include turning into the same corrupt person. 

He would start by making things even with Clark. 

* * *

Thanks to his brand new Ferrari, Lex arrived at the Kent Farm in no time. A heavy rainfall had set in. He remained silent for a while, nervously switching off the car stereo and scanning the area. The farmhouse was enveloped in darkness. He glanced at his watch and realized it was 2 am. They were probably all fast asleep. Just like he should be. For a moment he considered returning to the mansion but reconsidered when he caught sight of a figure outside the barn. Narrowing his eyes a little to get a better look, he identified Clark. He swallowed and decided to give it a shot. 

He switched off the engine and slowly got out of the car. The rain pounded down on him while he moved closer to the barn. Within a few seconds he was soaking wet.To start running now would be pretty senseless. He couldn't get any wetter. His trademark coat was glued to his body and he could feel raindrops dripping down his face. 

The closer he got to Clark the more evident the boy's tense posture became. Lex wondered whether he had seen him coming but it appeared that Clark was so absorbed in playing basketball that the tension radiating off him had to be caused by other reasons. 

Lex registered that Clark must have been outside for a much longer period of time already. His hair was plastered to his skull, the shirt and pants he was wearing pressed against his body, outlining his muscular and hard chest. Lex swallowed. Now was not the time to admire the view. 

A few steps away from Clark, he finally came to a halt and coughed. Clark continued playing, his back still turned away from Lex. To the casual observer it might have appeared that he hadn't heard Lex approaching but Lex knew better than that. 

He inched a few steps closer until he could almost reach out and touch Clark's shoulder. 

"What are you doing here, Lex?" 

The sudden sound took Lex by surprise and he remained quiet for a moment, hoping he could gather his thoughts. He wasn't supposed to feel this intimidated. After all, he was there to admit mistakes but he expected the same from Clark. 

Clark turned around and all the courage Lex had accumulated by now, vanished when he saw the angry expression on his friend's face. 

"Are you planning on conducting some of your sick experiments on me? Well, good luck with that. You don't really believe you can take me on?" 

Images of the green meteor rocks appeared before his eyes but he bit his lip. He wasn't here to incite further arguments. But he wasn't exactly sure how he could calm Clark down either. 

"What's wrong? You're suddenly so very speechless, Lex." 

Clark challenged him with a spiteful look and clenched fists. The overuse of Lex's name made him feel very uncomfortable, especially when spat out like that. 

Lex contemplated for another moment before he finally said "Look, Clark, can we go in? I don't think this is an appropriate place to talk." 

Clark frowned and got even more agitated, the rage turning his face red. 

"I don't think there is an appropriate place to talk. And do you know why, Lex?" 

Again, his name hissed in obvious disdain. And it hurt. Badly. Because this was coming from Clark. From the same person who had up until a few days ago uttered his name more tenderly, more softly than anyone ever had. 

"Because _I_ don't want to talk to you ever again. You should leave." 

Lex panicked at those words. They seemed final and although he had expected them, they nevertheless took him by surprise. They felt too real. 

"Give me one minute. I'll explain and you can tell me to leave afterwards, too," Lex said, hoping he didn't sound too desperate. 

"I don't need your explanations. Just leave," Clark was practically yelling at him. Lex wasn't sure whether he was trying to drown out the sound of the rain or whether he was just furious. 

Clark turned away and stomped off to the barn. Lex followed him, not wanting to give in that easily. He climbed upstairs and found Clark leaning against a wall, glaring back at him. Lex held his piercing glance with ease and decided to get rid of his carefulness and replace it with his usual boldness. 

"I just wanted to apologize to you. I'm sorry. I know it was wrong to investigate you behind your back ..." 

"We already got that covered the last time. Would you please leave now?" Clark shot back, meeting Lex's gaze steadily. 

"We haven't covered everything. For example the fact that you didn't give me any other choice but to check up on you on my own," Lex replied calmly. In reality he was sure he had just made the worst mistake ever. Judging by Clark's wry glance, he didn't have to expect any cordiality in return. 

"So, what? Now it's _my_ fault that you were snooping around behind my back?" Clark said, exasperated. "What next, Lex? Was it my fault that you crashed into the river? Is it my fault that your father is keeping you on a leash?" Clark was getting more and more flustered and it seemed impossible to interrupt him. "Maybe the others were right from the very start. I thought you really were different than your father. But I guess you didn't fall far from the tree," Clark snapped. 

Lex gritted his teeth. He had obviously underestimated Clark's ability to be harsh. Using one of his own speeches and reversing the meaning rated high on Lex's scale of cruelty. 

Lex was tempted to throw spiteful comments at Clark, too, but thought they had finally made some progress. At least Clark was talking to him. 

"I didn't imply that it was your fault. What I meant was that these things could have been prevented if you had told me about your ... powers," Lex said cautiously, feeling a little more levelheaded, as if he had won back some of his ground again. 

Clark dropped his gaze and moved towards the couch. He entwined his fingers and stared hard at the table in front of him. 

"Powers? I don't know what you ..." 

"Stop it, Clark, okay? I think we've moved beyond that stage. I'm not stupid. I know that you are capable of some very interesting things. So, please, stop lying to me." He wasn't sure where he had gained the amount of strength required to sound so calm. 

Lex inched closer to the couch and after weighing his options for a moment, sat down beside Clark. He expected a blow or some other kind of verbal attack but nothing came. A long silence stretched out and Lex considered digging deeper but Clark's non-answer seemed confirmation enough. 

"Why couldn't you just leave it be? Accept, that I saved you and others so many times. Why did you have to keep probing me? Was your wish to be friends with me ever genuine? Because right now, I really doubt it." 

Lex sucked in a deep breath and stole a glance in Clark's direction. 

"I did this for me. I wasn't investigating you so that some scientists could come along, take you away and do experiments on you. I was just ... curious because you were hiding so much from me." 

"And therefore you had to build an enormous lab in order to collect all sorts of evidence on me," Clark sneered. "You could have asked." 

Lex raised his eyebrows and surveyed him with disbelief. 

"And you would have told me, right?" 

"Maybe." 

"I thought we were through with lying," Lex said and leaned back. The conversation had proved to be very tiring. 

"I really don't know whether I would have told you some day. Yes. No. Maybe. Does it matter now?" Clark choked out and rested against the couch. "Look ... what did you expect from me? The first time we meet you almost die and I save your life, thinking I should be dead. My dad tells me I'm not quite ... human and then I develop all these ... powers I don't know how to handle at first and my life just becomes more and more complicated. And while I'm trying to deal with everything you go behind my back and snoop around." 

"Clark, calm down, I understand ... I just ..." 

"No, let _me_ talk now, okay? So, here I am, all alone because my parents tell me I should never tell anyone about my abilities because they're scared. And I'm scared, too. And do you know why, Lex? Because what if one day someone notices my powers, takes me away from my family and I end up in a lab? My parents are living with this fear day in, day out and ..." 

Before Clark could go any further, Lex leaned towards him and brushed his lips softly against Clark's. He pulled away again and looked Clark over. The boy was staring wide-eyed at him, his mouth opening and closing again. 

"I promise, I won't ever tell anyone. Your secret's safe with me." 

He studied Clark's expression and was amused by the light flush that had crept to his face. 

"Why should I believe you?" 

"I don't know. You just should." 

Lex hoped the expression on his face didn't give away the trepidation he felt inside. The truth was, he didn't believe he could convince Clark of his earnest motives any more than he already had. The conversation with Clark had made him aware that Clark's primal fear was that Lex would use the information he had gathered against him. If he managed to make him see he wouldn't exploit his knowledge, maybe they could start over. And this time he hoped they'd be more honest with each other. 

Clark met his gaze and studied Lex intently. Lex squirmed inwardly and waited anxiously for Clark's next move. He thought it was time to leave their fate in Clark's hands. And it wasn't an easy thing for him to do. Lex liked being in control, he _needed_ to be in control but he accepted that he had to let go this time. He wasn't used to be this dependent on other people's opinions or actions. It made him feel helpless to be forced to react instead of _act_. Lex wondered whether Clark realized how uncomfortable he felt being in this position. 

Clark got up and moved to his telescope. With his back still turned, he said casually, "I really want to, Lex. But it's gonna take time. And as long as you still have your safety net ..." 

Lex looked puzzled but before he could ask, Clark continued, "I mean, imagine we have another argument and the situation gets really ugly and you want to pay me back ... you still have a room full of information that could bring me down ... or that could even cost me my life." 

Lex's expression went from horrified to offended to angry. "I told you the evidence I gathered was for my personal use only and not for the world to see." 

"I know, you said that already but, still ... that's what I meant when I said it would take time to trust you." 

Lex moved from the couch and approached Clark, his posture tense and clearly agitated. He really wanted to keep a clear head and he could even relate to Clark's words but he couldn't help feeling hurt. "Don't you think I could have already used the information against you? Why wait this long?" The words came out harsher than he had intended. 

"It doesn't matter, Lex. Why is it so difficult for you to accept that as long as this room exists something will always stand between us? And as far as I'm concerned, you more or less know now for a fact that what you found out about me is true. Why keep the place?" 

They stood next to each other now, both staring off into space and Clark's words finally registered. So the real problem was the existence of the room. He pondered for a moment whether there was a way to solve it and came to the decision that there really was only one option left. He had always been fascinated by science, and curiosity had always run through his veins but maybe he'd have to step back this time. He was willing to accept defeat in favour of keeping alive the only real friendship he had ever had. 

"I won't. We'll just have to get rid of all the equipment," he said slowly. 

Clark glanced at him, still a little insecure. "Are you sure?" 

Lex faced him, crossed his arms, and hoped the resolve in his voice was enough to convince Clark of his intention, "Completely." Clark bit his lip and looked away again, leaving Lex in search of something else to say. He didn't like awkward silences. Especially when he couldn't tell where he stood with Clark. To prove his point, he grabbed Clark's hand, forcing the boy to look at him again. "And we're going to do it now." 

Clark's gaze was focused on their entwined hands and Lex wondered whether Clark liked the feeling as much as he did. Relief swept over him when he realized that Clark didn't intend to pull away. Lex waited for a reply and when nothing came, he squeezed Clark's strong hand lightly. "You still with me?" Clark's cheek flushed and he withdrew his hand carefully. 

"Sorry, I guess I got a little distracted for a moment." Clark's voice hitched and Lex smiled confidently. "I like the idea, though. Let's go, then." Before Lex could utter another word, Clark had already moved past him. By the time Lex hurried to follow him, Clark was already out of sight. When he left the barn, he spotted him leaning casually against Lex's car, a wary smile plastered on his face. 

Lex tried to keep the astonishment at bay. He had already figured out Clark's super speed but it nevertheless amazed him to more or less witness it consciously. "Remind me to never play tag with you." 

Clark's wary smile turned into a cheeky one. 

"I promise I won't cheat." 

"Why should I believe you?" 

"I don't know. You just should," Clark said innocently and Lex grin grew wider. 

They settled in the car and Lex maneuvered it onto the street. 

"I missed having you around lately." Lex knew it was an enormous understatement but he hoped Clark got the meaning. He hadn't realized before how much Clark's presence helped him fight off the emptiness he felt whenever he was alone. 

"Playing pool by yourself must really suck," Clark answered conversationally. 

"Yeah, that too," Lex said, gazing at Clark for a moment before he focused on the street again. "I'm glad we are good again," Lex added, pursing his lips. 

"Me, too. I missed barging into your place whenever I felt like it." 

Clark shot him a heart warming smile and Lex retorted, "Oh yeah, I definitely missed that as well." Pretending to be miffed, Clark swatted his knee. Lex waited for Clark to pull back his hand but instead Clark's cheeks turned pink and the hand remained where it was. Lex definitely enjoyed this bashful yet more daring version of Clark and decided once they'd established more trust between each other, he'd focus on increasing his advances towards Clark. Until then coy and carefully planned gestures would have to be enough. 

When they finally arrived at the mansion, they followed the steps and hallways that led them to the reclusive room. Clark was the first to reach the door. For a moment Lex feared Clark might rethink their decision, come to his senses and rush off. But Clark's hand touched the doorknob and the expression on his face was determined. He opened the door and his gaze flicked across the room. 

"Are you sure about this, Lex?" Clark asked for the upteenth time. Lex came up to him and nodded confidently. He was more than willing to make a clean sweep. 

"Go on, just do it and we'll make a new start," Lex added and smiled slightly. Clark blushed a little and Lex smirked, pleased with the way things had developed. He felt much more confident dealing with a potential romantic interest than with an enraged alien. 

The scent of burned equipment spread throughout the room. Stunned, he watched Clark's eyes shooting fire at the content of the room. Shelves, desks, computers, screens ... everything melted in a matter of seconds under Lex's scrutiny. He was astonished at the sight but tried not to show it. 

He felt Clark's gaze glued on his and spun around to face him. "You didn't know I could do that, did you?" Clark asked not so innocently. 

"No, I wasn't aware of that. I had figured out the super strong and speed thing," Lex admitted, unable to prevent a slight blush of his own to appear. "Why didn't you set the lab on fire when you first discovered it?" 

Clark hesitated a moment before he slowly said, "I was kinda hoping you would destroy it yourself. But doing it together was the better idea." He smiled gently and took the fire extinguisher from the wall. 

Once the fire was erased, the room was covered in ashes. Months of investigation had gone down the drain. All the evidence Lex had accumulated had been destroyed. And he didn't care because from now on he thought, he would be able to investigate on the real thing. He chuckled at the images his dirty mind was producing. 

They walked towards Lex's office until Clark meekly said, "I should probably get home. It's already very late and mom and dad will worry." 

"Okay, I'll just get the keys and we'll be on our way ..." 

"No, I'll just, you know, walk home. I'm faster that way." 

"You really think you can take on my Ferrari? You are delusional, Clark," Lex laughed out, relieved that they had returned to their usual, light banter again. "We'll test your theory one day, when you're not in such a hurry," he added softly. 

"Sure thing," Clark replied equally gentle. 

They climbed downstairs and stopped before the door. A moment of awkwardness spread between them until Clark blurted, "I just wanted to tell you that I do trust you." 

Lex studied him for a moment before he asked, "Why?" 

"I just do," Clark grinned and swatted Lex's arm playfully before closing in on him. Lex licked his lips, anxiously awaiting the inevitable. He felt a hand snake its way behind his neck, pulling his face nearer, another hand moving up his arm, lightly stroking him through the thick, still wet fabric of his sweater. They were now only inches apart, Lex's breath coming in short gasps and he closed his eyes. And then all he felt were tender lips on his, initiating a very lazy, soft kiss. They pulled back at the same time, both needing to compose themselves. Clark's face flushed a deep shade of red, making something inside Lex twitch. 

"I'll drop by tomorrow," Lex croaked out, still fighting to keep his cool. 

"Yeah, that'll be great." With one swift movement Clark opened the door. He was already on his way out the door when he turned around once again. 

"Lex ... the things I said earlier. About you and your dad. You are nothing like him. I guess I just got worked up." 

Lex was stunned because he hadn't expected the confession and replied, "No, it's alright. You had ... you had every reason to say that. Sometimes our similarities, personality wise, scare even me." 

"There is no resemblance whatsoever. Have you ever even considered the idea that you take after your mother?" 

Lex squirmed inwardly and clutched his watch nervously. "No, actually, not." 

"You must have gotten your heart from someone. And I'm sure it wasn't from Lionel." 

As if to prove a point, Clark rested his hand on Lex's chest and pressed a last kiss on his lips before he rushed out. 

Lex remained in the doorway, moved his fingers to his lips as if to make sure that everything that had happened was real and stared after Clark's vanishing figure. A content smile spread across his face and he wondered whether he had really earned that much bliss. 

Conventional wisom (never his strong suit) said this couldn't possibly work out. This turned out to be as much of a fallacy as most of what the tabloids wrote about him. He knew who he had to thank for his happiness. Despite -- or perhaps because of -- everything that had led him to this point, he had the feeling she would have approved. 


End file.
